Why men lose the dating game


When it comes to the dating game, men have it infinitely harder than women. This is due to the self entitled, picky nature of most women today.

Despite wanting equality, feminists have chosen to ignore the dating imbalance that exists between men and women. As we all know, feminists only ever address inequality if it disadvantages women in some way.

From an early age (teens), most girls realise the power they hold over men when it comes to dating and sex. This is why they start wearing makeup and more revealing clothes. Girls will always claim they only do it for themselves, but we all know this is bullshit. They do it because they know it attracts the attention of boys, and they secretly enjoy every second of it. Many girls will also use this sexual power as a weapon to manipulate men and get whatever they want.

Women are pickier than men

So just how picky are women? According to dating site OkCupid, women rated a whopping 80% of the men as “below average”. This means that at least 80% of men on the site will miss out. For those 20% of “eligible” men, I would estimate that 10% of those are considered “average” looking, with the remaining 10% being considered as “good looking”. This means that the majority of women would only be interested in the top 10% of men. To be in the top 10% of men you need to be tall, rich, and drive a luxury car.

Why men lose the dating game

As you can see from the diagram, the average guy will miss out. This is why the majority of men rarely get a response from women on dating sites.

Why are today’s women so picky and self entitled?

There are a few reasons for this, so I will break them down into different sections.


Feminism is partly responsible for today’s women being so picky. It has taught women self entitlement – that they deserve the very best in everything, including men. In the old days, dating was much easier for the average man. The only thing a man had to do was be employed. He didn’t have to have muscular body, be extremely wealthy, or have a luxury car. Women were happy enough to have an average looking man who was employed. As most of today’s women are now employed, they are seeking more than just an employed man.

Why men lose the dating game

Online dating

Another big reason for the pickiness of women is the internet. Online dating gives women more choices of men than ever before, allowing them to be more picky. Before the days of online dating, a woman’s options were limited to the available men in her nearby area. In order to meet potential men, she also had to join a club or some sort of social group. With online dating, women now have the ability to quickly and easily view thousands of men. It also allows them to filter certain criteria, everything from his income (some dating sites allow this) to his height, to the colour of his hair.

Online dating has also made it much easier for a woman to reject or ignore men. Before the days of the internet a woman would have to reject a man to his face. Many women found this difficult, due to feelings of guilt. Even if they weren’t really keen on the guy, many still gave him a chance in order to avoid feeling guilty for saying no.

Thanks to online dating, women no longer have to experience feelings of guilt for rejecting men. After signing up to a dating site, the first thing a woman will do is locate the block button. If a man is not up to her unrealistic standards, she will not hesitate to block him. After blocking a few men she starts to become desensitised and no longer has any feelings of guilt or empathy. Before you know it, she’s blocked hundreds of men without even giving it a second thought.

Why men lose the dating game

The smart phone

Before the release of the smart phone, women had to sit down at a desktop computer and log into a dating site. This means they could only spend an hour or two a day to receive messages. Since the release of the smart phone, women are now receiving messages from men 24/7, no matter where they are. This gives them the perception that there are even more choices available, especially with apps such as Tinder. The more choices women think they have, the pickier they get. Apps like tinder allow women to reject men quicker than ever before – all it takes is a quick swipe of the finger.

Inflated perception of dating market value

As we all know, even average looking women get flooded with messages on dating sites. As a result, they think their dating market value is much higher than it actually is. For example, if a woman was an average 6, she might now think she is really an 8 due to all the attention she receives. As women only ever “date up”, she will now only consider men who are a 9 or 10. So now we have a woman who is only a 6, but she thinks she deserves a man who 3-4 points higher than herself. This phenomenon is most common in countries high levels of feminism, such as Australia, USA, Canada, and UK.

Women refuse to approach men

Despite wanting equality, most women will still refuse to approach men and ask them on a date. This also applies to initiating messages on dating sites/apps. Women know this dating imbalance is probably the biggest advantage they have over men. The advantage is so great that even some women who claim to be anti-feminists will refuse to address this inequality.

Instead of addressing this imbalance to ease the burden on men, most women will come up with many excuses. Typical excuses include “i’m a traditional girl and prefer the man to ask me out”, “its a mans job to ask the woman out”, “men prefer to chase”, “I’m too shy”, and “I’m too scared of rejection”.

Firstly, expecting the man approach seems to be the only tradition that women hold onto. When it comes to other traditions such as being a house wife, cooking, cleaning, etc these women are quick to scream sexism. Secondly, it is not the a mans job to ask a woman out – most men don’t even enjoy chasing women. Virtually every man I’ve asked has said they would love to be approached by women. Most women conveniently fool themselves into believing that men enjoy chasing, but this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Why men lose the dating game

Women who claim they are too shy or scared of rejection must assume that men don’t have this problem. A shy man is far less desirable to a woman than a shy woman is to a man. In fact, a lot of men actually prefer shy women, but most women are turned off by shy men. Therefore a shy man has it much harder than a shy woman. A man also has a greater reason to fear rejection as women are far more likely to reject a man than vice versa. There was a social experiment done on this – a man asked 100 girls for their number, followed by a woman asking 100 guys for their number. In addition, when men reject women they are usually far more polite about it.

If women want equality, why should men still be the ones to do all the work in dating? Why should men have to always approach women? Why should men have to always think of something friendly, witty, funny and creative to get a woman’s attention? Men put so much time and effort into dating and but get very little in return. Even when a man captures the interest of a woman, its up to him to keep the conversation flowing. Many women state in their profile “don’t message me with just ‘hey how are you’, or I won’t reply.”, but at the same time think its acceptable to give short responses to men.

Men feel invisible

When it comes to desirability, the majority of men feel invisible and unwanted. And who can blame them? You only have to look at Facebook to see the number of likes and comments a woman receives when she posts a picture of herself. When a man does the same, he’s lucky to get any. Don’t men deserve to feel loved too? Women will give each other compliments, but most will refuse to give a man a compliment.

I personally believe that fewer men would be committing suicide if women gave them more compliments and approached them for a date. Everyone likes to feel wanted, and men are no exception. Even an average looking woman feels constantly validated from all the compliments and men approaching her. The majority of men don’t experience such validation, making them feel invisible and unwanted.

Women only start to realise this feeling of being invisible and unwanted when they “hit the wall” at some point in their 30’s. The attention they receive from men starts to decrease, and they soon understand what it feels like to be the average man. This is when you hear many of them say “I wish I was younger again, I miss getting so much attention from guys”.

The online dating experiment

Online dating for men is brutal. A famous experiment conducted on OkCupid demonstrated how many more messages women receive compared to men.

Why men lose the dating game

As you can see from the final results, women received 17 times more messages than the men! It is likely that this number is actually higher, but it was unable to be determined as the two most attractive women had reached the limit of their inboxes. Now you can see why almost every woman takes ages to reply to a message.

In summary, when it comes to receiving unsolicited messages based on gender and photos alone, women wipe the floor with men, and very attractive women sandblast the floor with the fellas. They kill. Their inboxes heave with hellos and how are yous.

Despite these results, many women still claim that online dating is more difficult for women. Apparently this is because they have to “sift through all the undesirable men”. So lets get this straight, having to sift through so many options is worse than having no options at all? What a joke! Any woman who complains about online dating being harder for women is simply too spoilt and self entitled. I challenge these women to create a profile as a man, just to see how much worse it is to get NO MESSAGES at all.

The solution?

If women want true equality, they also need to take responsibility. Women need to start giving men more attention, compliments, and making the first moves. They need to take some of this burden off men, as the dating game is extremely imbalanced. They need to understand their true dating market value and date within their means.  Women need to be less superficial, such as judging a man on his height or the amount of wealth he has.

Men can also assist by doing the opposite. This means giving women less attention, less compliments, and waiting for them to make the first move. Thankfully the dating market is already starting to correct itself, as more men are getting fed up and going MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way).

Women have enjoyed this dating imbalance for far too long. Its time to change that in the name of equality.




  1. Well….I have just come back into the dating scene after leaving a 10 year relationship. Exit stage right!! It is a numbers game and unfortunately being the realist that I am, I know that my numbers don’t add up. Age + Income + Height + being of average looks doesn’t bode well. I receive absolutely no response from any communication attempts that I have made to date. So the next logical step for me is to remove myself from this toxic soul crushing environment where you are disregarded and degraded by a simple swipe of a lazy finger. Yes women appear to be lazy and want a guy to lay every detail of life out in a profile so they can rule you out right away and next you. Ladies hold all the cards. No more dating sites or dating attempts for me. I am going to spend all my time I have left looking after myself, pursue hobbies, travel and make new friends. If during the course of my life I happen to connect with someone that enjoys doing the same things as I do and we get along then so be it. If not I win by not being victimized in the current dating cesspool. More guys need to be making themselves less available in order to restore some balance and give women perspective.

  2. Don’t be discouraged…I’ve taken it a step further. I’ve stopped the chase and all that entailed and, abstained from the ‘act’ itself…in any form ha! going on a year now- all in the mind- and I feel great- for a fit lusty middle aged fijian. So much for the so called health ‘sex’perts